Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. -Howard Thurman
Shortly after I completed cancer treatment, I felt an undeniable call to pilgrimage. An epic journey had just unfolded within me. I faced mortality at 40 years old, and the medicines of chemotherapy and prayer saved my life. I needed a way to outwardly mark that journey with my own Odyssey, my own Canterbury tale. No adventure was too big and no fear held me back. The whole world became a possibility for the pilgrimage I was to take.
I have been drawn to Celtic Christianity for most of my adult spiritual life, and Iona, an island off the western coast of Scotland is a place considered by Celtic Christians to be a very thin space, where heaven and earth meet. St. Columba established a monastery there in the sixth century and it was revived by the Benedictines in the Middle Ages. Look up Iona and you will find quotes that make it sound like an ethereal otherworld. You might want to roll your eyes, but you will also be intrigued. Iona became even more compelling when I realized how much travel it would take to make it there: car, plane, train, ferry, bus, ferry. I found a guide who emphasized Celtic Christianity, ecospirituality, and the feminine divine. Check, check, check!
Pilgrimage is different than travel because it is less about your itinerary and destination and more about the Way. I am always in a hurry to get wherever I am going. Embarking as a pilgrim acknowledges that you go to meet God, whenever and however God arrives. You’re pretty much inviting the unexpected and the things that push your buttons. I go to great lengths to avoid that which annoys me or slows me down, so on pilgrimage my lost luggage and rerouted trains and seasickness were markers of the way.
Upon arrival in Iona we were greeted at the ferry by our guide Mary and asked to write our reflections on the ancient question, “Pilgrim, what ails thee?” I had about a dozen ailments rolling around inside me. The last decade of my life was painful. Many things died during those years: close relationships, pregnancies, health, dreams, identity. Even the greatest calling of my life, priesthood in the Church, had been bitterly disappointing at certain stages. I stood at a threshold between hanging onto anger or transforming the hurt into graceful boldness.
And so, I met with my grief on Iona. It takes as much courage to face your inner spiritual scarring as it does to brave disease. I honored it by naming it. I became ready to release it. Iona is known for its geology; the oldest rocks in Europe and among that in the whole world are found there, a type called Lewisian gneiss. The weight of stone is a reminder that when we hang onto something it can hold us down. (Did I mention my lost luggage, aka double practice in letting go?) Our guide encouraged us to keep a stone as a symbol of gratitude, of transformation. Hanging onto the right things anchors us. We must have the wisdom to know what we hold onto and why.
When you meet God and yourself, you don’t walk away the same. Pilgrimage is transformation. The question we had upon leaving was “What is the boon you carry?” or what is the blessing you take back with you?
I couldn’t stop visiting a figure etched into the walls of the Nunnery on the island. The Nunnery is the ruined remains of a medieval Augustinian convent where wild flowers now grow. A window on the south wall bears the image of a Celtic goddess called a Sheela Na Gig. Most Sheelas around the British Isles have been desecrated. As I looked through the Sheela portal into the Nunnery I saw the ancient female divine of my ancestors alongside modern Christian feminine spirituality. I want to be among the legacy of those who want to include all and be fully included themselves, regardless of time and space and culture. Another name for that kind of eternal wholeness is Christ.
The Iona Community that now inhabits the Abbey is rooted in the Celtic traditions of mystery, justice, and creation care. It is an egalitarian group of people from around the world who find commonality in their contemplative worship life and active striving for the Kin(g)dom. I have so much hope for our Episcopal church in West Missouri and the unique way we share the message of Christ’s love with our neighbors. Rigidity and judgment and dogmatism are not the good news of Jesus. Forgiveness and love and inclusion are! I return with a renewed sense of why Jesus asked us as Christian community to be his hands and feet and heart for the world and a vision of how to continue my part in helping lead the Church.
Pilgrimage did not make me patient, and it did not fix the past. It did something better–it made me more myself. I already knew my passion, my tenacity, my impatience. What I didn’t respect enough was my tendency toward softness and love for God’s people and world. I have the gift of abundant life after cancer, and through Iona, God resurrected my calling to love, bless, heal, and forgive. I embody it anew. It is my boon. It is my blessing to give and receive.
If Pilgrimage calls to you, answer it. It’s okay if you have doubt or fear. You don’t need to become different in order to embark, because you can’t go anywhere– inside or out– that God is not already there. With God as our journey and our destination, all that we seek is in our midst.
The Very Rev. Miranda Cully is the Rector of the Episcopal Church of the Redeemer in Kansas City, and Dean of the Northwest-Metro Deanery. If you’d like more reflections, photos, or info on pilgrimage or Iona, follow Miranda on Facebook or Substack or drop her an email!
